Addiction

It gets me excited, even when there's nothing to be excited about. It tells me how to dress, what to read, how to think, and how to live. Like religion, it gives me guidance and hope. It's a drug i'm addicted to, and without it i'm nothing. I've sacrificed money, time, and even health for music! Yes, music!

I don't know what i'd do without music. Ever since grade 8 it's always been there; through anger, love, boredom, drunkiness, you name it! There's a soundtrack to every single episode of The Day in the Life of James P.! I guess i'm a bit like a character named Luke from Terry Woo's "Banana Boys" novel. He says, "I'd rather be blind than deaf, given Hobson's choice... I'd go totally bonkers in a world of silance. Music is what carries me through life's processes, what ultimately helps me to my destination. No journey of mine began without the right music." (Banana Boys p. 27)

I am what some people refer to as a "music geek". I attend concerts, read music magazines, and own over 200 cds (which i've bought, not burnt!). If life was perfect, i would have spent my high school years going to gigs 6 days a week and partying with sexy female Oasis fans. Also, i've become a bit of a t-shirt junky, so you might occasionally catch me walking around UW or downtown Toronto in an Oasis shirt, or a Smiths shirt.

Why i'm so passionate about music i don't fully understand. Maybe it's a family thing; apparently, everyone on my mother's side of the family plays a musical instrument including my grandmother who was once a piano teacher. Or maybe my life is like the life of those living in Manchester in the late 80s, or Seattle in the early 90s: boring and lacking direction. Possibly a bit of both.

A question i've always hated answering: "What kind of music do you like?" Because no matter what i answer, people may often assume something about me which isn't true. For example, if i say "rock" they tend to think i'm a one dimentional music fan who listens to nothing but Nickelback and Linkin Park. (BTW, I fucking HATE both of those bands!) If i say "indie" i sound like a music snob who only likes music that no one has heard, and if i say "everything" they assume i don't like music at all. The truth is i'm all over the place; indie, classic rock, electronica, punk, pop, hip hop, classical, blues, jazz, gospel, folk. Basically, I can find something i like in every genre of music, except opera and death metal.

Ironically, none of my high school friends ever had the same level of appreciation. They were more of the "casual" music fans who would only like a song after it's been played a million times on the radio. I guess i'm very different.